It was a Saturday evening, when dad came in & said
Hurry up & feed the kids, & put them straight to bed
You're always moaning at me, because we don’t do things together
I’ve a mind to take the family out, regardless of the weather
So bright & early Sunday morn, mum got out of bed
She attacked a stack of sandwiches, with which we, were to be fed
She scrapped the marg, on & off, ditto with the jam
But dad’s were made with butter, & inside he had ham
She made some lemon barley water, enough to go round us all
Then came & shook us all awake, & then gave dad a call
Hurry up & wash & dress, & put your gear away
For we’re going on an outing, dad’s taking us out today
With six kids in the family, there was not much money to spare
And for dad to be in a good mood, was also very rare
We had to go by bus, because we didn’t have a car
And with the bus fares being pricey, we wouldn’t be going far
Before we left the house, dads temper, started to simmer
And the prospect of our outing, became a trifle dimmer
He gave us all a talking to, on how we should behave
We older ones had stuff to carry, especially, mum, his slave
Barry was so excited, he was running forth, with haste
Dad bellowed after him, & said he must be chaste
But Barry didn’t listen, I’m first out the gate he boast
And collided helter skelter, into the first lamp post
That was IT, was what dad said, & we were back inside
It wasn’t much of an outing, we didn’t even get a ride
While mum bathed Barry’s aching head, she soothed dads temper down
She made us laugh & giggle, acting like a clown
So once again of we went, took the bus down to the river
The excitement was intense, & we were all a quiver
We walked along the embankment, & David who was five
Went into the water fully clothed, as he did a headlong dive
Mum fished him out, & on he squelched, shaking with the cold
And dad kept telling everyone, we must do as we’re told
We found a lovely picnic spot, & put our parcels down
And dad said we could have a swim, but NOBODY must drown
Into the water we all got, except dad, who sat alone
Then Pat shouted out to mum, my foots cut on a stone
Mum swam to help him to the bank, to see what she could do
But when she climbed out, dripping wet, she had, cut her foot too
Now dad’s a trifle cranky, to say the very least
But we are all so hungry, we settle down to feast
Dad says that now with four injured, we should be heading back
So loaded to the hilt again, we ventured down the track
Mary three years old, & cute, was skipping down the lane
Hair flying out behind her, see, she wasn’t to blame
Then down she went, sprawled out flat, for everyone to see
Screaming loud enough to wake the dead, because she’d cut her knee
Father’s lips were tightly curled, his brow was furrowed deep
Whilst trailed behind him, in single file, the others tried to creep
But I was still quite happy, for I was still intact
I was the only one, apart from dad, that had kept, to our pact
It was a very dismal procession, that waited for the bus
We all stood there quite quietly, with hardly any fuss
The bus came by directly, I clamoured on, & heaved a sigh
And just looked out of the window, we’d get home by & by
The bus drew up beside our stop, the conductor gave a shout
The doors flew open, much too quick, & I just tumbled out
With gravel rash to hands & knees, I kicked up quite a din
Dad picked me up by the scruff of my neck, & told me to get in
We were a really sorry sight, for everyone was sore
With cuts & bruises, aches & pains, all of that & more
Dad looked at us, with fury, he said, you take the biscuit of the lid
I will NEVER take you out again, & you know what, he never did
I’m sure you find this so far fetched, it must seem unreal to you
But believe me when I tell you, every word is true
For my family can vouch, for every little diction
It’s right what people say, fact IS stranger than fiction
